Mark Twain didn’t Twitter

Thoreau had no Facebook

If I don’t do both

I’ll get a dirty look

How did Wharton promote?

Milton had no Myspace

But if I’m not on it

I’ll have egg on my face

(Since Lord Byron didn’t blog

Was his work lost in a fog?)

Get your name out there

So you’ll be recognized

Give lots of effort

Lest you be despised

A booksigning here

A conference there

If I don’t go

Will I get the heave ho?

Self-promotion I think is overrated.

The market is now so saturated.

Too many authors need to make a name.

If their books do not sell, are they solely to blame?

The bestselling author of … Dragon Tattoo

Died before he had a chance to say boo

About what he’d done in an interview.

Explain that to me I beg of you.

All I wanted to do was write good books

With complex plots and opening hooks.

That isn’t enough in this market I’m told.

You must do more to get your work sold.

It’s up to you, the publishers cry.

Now do your part, to the internet hie.

Get your web site in order, it better be great

To avoid that awful twist of fate.

If we see that your sell-through numbers suck

Oh, I’m sorry, you’re a sitting duck.

It’s not our fault, it’s the market you see.

But you can self-publish, just pay the fee.

We’re sorry to hear that you worked so hard

If only we lived in the day of “The Bard.”

In that case you’d have an easier time.

Less competition, more time to pen lines.