Comments on: Top Ten Things NOT To Say To A Writer: A Handy Safety Guide

By: Dan

Dan — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:58:08 +0000

Also, as my friend Roy Blount Jr told me, never ask either of these:
“How’s your book coming?”
and after publication,
“How’s your book going?”

By: Lisa Romeo

Lisa Romeo — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 01:58:51 +0000

As for #4 – “When I have some time I’m going to write a book too…” I once read the greatest comeback for that, from the nonfiction writer and outstanding writing teacher Bill Roorbach. Find out what the other person does for a living. Let’s say he’s a cardiologist. You then fire back with, “Yeah, when I get some time, I’m going to do a few heart surgeries myself.”

By: @TheGirlPie

@TheGirlPie — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 21:27:15 +0000

And:
“10 Answers for Writers to Reply with a Smile to Annoying Questions That Shouldn’t Have Been Asked” [*]
(or:
“People Want To Talk About Themselves Anyway”)

10. Have I read anything you’ve written?

Tell me everything you’ve read and I’ll let you know. Why not start with your favorites of the decade?

9. Have you ever had anything published?

Why, of course; have you? (if yes)
I was just going to ask you the same thing! Who’s your favorite publisher? (otherwise)

8. How much money do you make?

Only my accountant knows for sure, how about you?

7. Where do you get your ideas?

Probably the same place you get yours, dear, but are you sure you want to let them all in on it?
(or)
People offer them to me all the time hoping I’ll write them up and naively thinking I’ll split the profits with them! Why do you ask?

[That should preclude Q #6 unless it's asked first]

6. Will you write my great story idea and then split the income with me?

Just as soon as your agent sells the pitch for a $20K advance for me; have you been tape recording your ideas?

5. If you help me write my life story, I’ll split the income with you after we sell the book.

I’d love to, but I’m already committed to writing That Lady’s story idea this decade, thanks anyway. Who would you like to play you in the movie adaptation?

4. I’m going to write a book someday when I have time.

Oh, please do! How much time will you be setting aside?

3. Will you read my manuscript?

Just as soon as it hits the shelves, I’ll buy my copy; have you thought about your jacket photo?

2. Will you read the manuscript of my offspring/spouse/sibling/parent?

Oh thank you for asking, but I couldn’t bear to risk subconsciously adopting their work/ideas/style/structure/typeface/whatever. Are you representing them?

1. Will you introduce me to your agent?

Of course! You’ll love my broker, when are you listing your home?

* When asked by a professional lit agent or publisher, adjust for friendly, respectful business networking and bond building. Meaning, straight answers with real personality.

Good luck, and keep up the good words,

~ @TheGirlPie

By: Loren Coleman

Loren Coleman — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 22:55:46 +0000

Ms. Resnick,

Your list is excellent, and applies to nonfiction authors such as myself too.

Number 8 is the one I’m ask the most, and the question that is most upsetting, still, 40 years after getting my first work published. It amazes me people can be so insensitive.

Another one for your list is, “Could you give me one of your books so I can see if I like your work?”

Of course, this one is hard to believe on several fronts. To assume that my labor is something I wish to give away freely is hard to fathom. Secondly, why people think that authors have a warehouse of all of our books stashed away in a supposedly extra back bedroom floors me. LOL!

Good list and thank you for pulling it together,
Loren

By: Marilyn Brant

Marilyn Brant — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:54:29 +0000

LOL, Laura! These are fabulous and so, so true. Thank you .

By: Laura Resnick

Laura Resnick — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 14:34:10 +0000

Deb, in truth, while -some- “questions NOT to ask a writer” are just bad manners (“How much money do you make?), a lot of them are perfectly friendly questions–and it’s not the questioner’s fault that we’ve heard that question so many times that we’re by now ready to GO POSTAL on them. Ergo, the suggestions for a phrasing of the question that’s a little safer to pose…

Laura

By: Deb Carr

Deb Carr — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:01:04 +0000

I love this article. I am sometimes guilty of Number 9, and appreciate the suggested line “What is your latest release?” I am a new writer/old writer, and can appreciate that question and the appropriate responses. I am a NEW (unpublished) Romance Writer, but I have been a Technical Writer for years. However, no one has read my published writing projects unless they have purchased power tools or industrial cranes, or taken an AutoCAD class at the school where I teach!
Deb

By: Chris Marie Green

Chris Marie Green — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 17:28:22 +0000

LOL–ten bullseyes on a row! Good work, Laura.

By: Maddie

Maddie — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 11:19:58 +0000

The write my story idea and split the income sounds just like corporate america The ‘big picture person’ expects the glory for having the idea, while the ‘rank and file’ do the bulk of the work to execute it.

You need both. A great story idea without execution doesn’t work nor does a bad story idea with great execution.

Actually, I think I would prefer the great execution and watch a great writer make a bad story idea better!

Thanks for the thought provoking article Laura.